i have finally made it to Praha [and totally legal this time!]

it has been a strange road getting here, but God is always faithful and i just love hindsight and how its always 20/2o....my many moments of confusion, anger, frustration, discouragement and brokenness [there were lots of good moments too], were all moments that God used to pour His love, patience and grace into my life.

i learned some pretty hard lessons while at home--one of the big ones was to trust in His time-table. I had to really work at believing that it's perfect and that He is sovereign and knows whats going on and all i have to do is rest. [how funny that im ready to rest now that im here]

i learned about idols. i learned that i easily and quickly put other things that i want or think i need into my thoughts that translates into putting it in front of my relationship with my Father. and i learned that sometimes [ok, pretty much all the time] its really really hard to bring idols down...not impossible, but hard. and it hurts. but the restored relationship with the Lord is so totally worth it.

and i learned about ow working my way into God's favor is so totally pointless. i would often find myself saying things like "well Lord, maybe if i did more of _____________, then you would make all my support and my visa and other life situations turn out like i want them to turn out" guess what? that never works. but my flesh really really wants that method to be how it works. but i can't earn what i already have. and plus its really exhausting so eventually i have to stop and surrender and be obedient and then trust in His faithfulness.

i also leaned a little something about how vital it is to let God romance my heart. so often i find myself withholding my heart and thoughts from Him because im afraid of what He would think or do if He "really" knew me. this is dumb for several reasons, the main on being that He already "really" knows me. so what i really think and feel is not so much a surprise to Him. as a result i can just be me and that i dont have to withhold anything from Him because He did not withhold anything from me...He gave me His life. and in spite of my imperfections and brokenness, He loves me perfectly and wholly.

and i like hope.